Month: November 2018

“Clap you hands.”

“Stomp your feet”

“Shout Amen”

Sorry, had a flashback of childhood memories there…I bet you did too!

Happiness.

Why is it so fleeting? Does it necessarily need to be so? Why is it that when you’re happy, other people try to “bring you down”, try to “steal your happiness” or “burst your bubble”?

How can someone “share your happiness”?  Dang it. It’s MY happiness, I don’t want to share! Get your own!

I’m a huge fan of the “Peanuts” cartoon created by Charles  M. Schulz. When I was a kid I bought his book “Happiness Is A Warm Puppy”. It’s Charlie Brown and the gang sharing their wisdom; telling us that, basically, it’s the simple every day things that make us the happiest. 

Think about that for a second. 

“It’s the simple, every day things that make us the happiest.”

Do you think that’s true?  Do we often take the simple things in life for granted? And if so, does that mean we take our happiness for granted?

Happiness cannot simply be defined. It is many different things to many different people; which leads me to believe happiness is based on an individual’s perception of their environment filtered through their experiences and emotions. Oh, and let’s not forget the role of “expectation”.

Expectations are to be lived up to or exceeded. Once you’ve done that you’re allowed or supposed to be happy.  Disappointment usually follows close behind if expectations aren’t met. Simple.

I’m meandering a bit, but I have often wondered  just who’s expectations we are supposed to live up to. We all have our own expectations of what we desire. Toss in the expectations of our parents, grandparents, brothers, sisters, friends and co-workers and we all have quite the load to carry! Am I not right?

Let’s make it real simple – because it’s “the simple every day things that make us the happiest”…

Ask yourself  – “what does God expect from me?” Or maybe “what are God’s expectations for my life?”

Can you disappoint God? 

———

Ok, I have no idea where to go from here. 

I wrote this originally on December 4. I put it aside hoping the words would come to me from out of the ether so that I could conclude this blog entry and have it posted by the 9th or 10th. It is now the 13th. 

No words have come.

So, I am going to post this “unfinished”. Maybe at some point, when the time is right, the words will arrive which will enable me to complete the entry; then again, maybe not. That is not for me to say. 

Like many other things in life, I am peacefully and thankfully placing this blog entry into God’s hands. It’s His “problem” now and I am more than sure He is more than capable of handling it.

And in that belief, I find happiness.

Life is full of them.  Sometimes it’s easy to tell when you’re “in the moment”. Sometimes you’re not aware how defining the moment is until it’s long gone and you’ve had time to look back and process that specific time in your life. Some “moments” you may never know.

I’ve previously written about a defining moment in my life – being struck by a golfball which caused a partial loss of vision in my left eye – and how that accident helped shape me into the person I am today.

But today I’m going to share a different “defining moment” in my life.  This “moment” occurred about three years ago.

Over the past 3 years I have told my employees that my honeymoon trip to Maui, Hawaii with Windy “broke me for life”. By that I don’t mean financially, but that the trip “broke” what I thought I knew about life, work and family. Okay, maybe it’s not quite correct to pinpoint the honeymoon, maybe it should include the entire “package of moments” which lead up to the trip…but does it matter? I think not.

Fundamentally,  I feel like what I thought I knew about those three things no longer “fit” or “made sense”.  How can that be?

I think one single word can explain it – priority.

A wise lady once said, “When all is said and done and you’re lying there in your casket; your car, house and fancy belongings you just had to have and worked so hard for won’t be there. What will be there are the people and relationships that you have made. What are you doing in your life to ensure you’re not lying there all alone?”

Whoa!!

Okay, if you haven’t figured it out, the wise lady is my wife Windy. And she made quite the point! In her own unique way she made me question my priorities.

I think up to that time I was “busy” chasing “things and stuff”. I worked hard so I could afford the creature comforts and to heck with friends and family. Something had to “give” so I can get what I want, right?

Wrong. Wrong. Wrong. Wrong, in so many ways. Again. WRONG!

Yes, work is important. It provides for the necessities in life – food, clothing, shelter etc. BUT, it shouldn’t be or become your “everything”.

Time away from work (I believe it’s called ‘vacation’), is required too! Time to decompress from the stresses and strains associated with work is also good for the body.’Vacation’ is generally a time for rest, a time to catch up with friends and family, a time to travel and make memories that will last a lifetime and more.  Oh, but most importantly it’s the chance to cross a few items off your “honey do” list! (Right fellas?)

Nowadays, I think the fancy term for all of this is  “work/life balance”.

And THAT, my friends, is what I began to struggle with after returning from Maui.

Work had always been #1. Examples –

What? Someone called in? Sure. I can cover the shift. I don’t need to be at the birthday party.

You need someone to work the holiday? Okay, sure. It’s double time, right?  They’ll save me a plate of food.

That was me, before.

Afterwards, I kinda learned the word “No”. I started looking out for myself and the family. In other words, I made them a priority. Okay, not “a priority” but “THE priority” in my life.

It wasn’t easy. It meant being a little less generous and kind when a co-worker asked to swap shifts or was a planning a vacation that overlapped with mine and wanted met to cut mine short. It meant standing up for myself when holiday schedules were being made.

And it was worth it.

Worth my coworkers not speaking to me.

Worth all the memories created when playing games with my kids and grandkids; whether it be a sleep-over, the  holidays or on an entire family (kids, grandkids, grandma & grandpa Windy & I) vacation.

Worth building relationships that will carry me through the difficult times in life.

So, all of this brought to mind a book (and movie) titled “Brian’s Song”.  In it,the  great Chicago Bears running back and member of the Football Hall of Fame, Gale Sayers, declares,  “I am third. God is first, others are second, and I am third.”

Hmm…What about work? Where’s work?

It’s not there! It’s not a “top 3” priority, nor should it be.

Yup, guess you could call that realization a “defining moment”.

You’ve heard it all before –

“Give until it hurts.”

“Ya gotta give 110%.”

“Give it all you got.”

“Give until you can give no more.”

“All you need to do is to try harder.”

But, how do you know when you’ve reached “that point”? You know, the point where you have given or tried “everything” imaginable under the sun and you’re still not quite “there”, where you want or need to be? You may feel that you’re even further from being “there” than when you began.

You start wondering and doubting if you’ll ever make it “there” or if all the effort has just been a big waste of time and resources. Heck, you may even begin to wonder why or maybe you have forgotten why you even wanted to get “there” in the first place.

Maybe what’s keeping you from getting “there” isn’t motivation or drive or desire. Maybe it’s a person, an attitude, or a lack of knowledge.

Yup, I think the answer to what’s keeping you from making it “there” can be found by looking in the mirror – it’s you!

“But how can that be?”, you may ask. I’ve tried literally everything I can think of and I’m still not “there”.

Have you ever stopped to think that maybe you’ve been working towards the wrong “there”?

Visualize a children’s dot-to-dot -> a plain old sheet of paper with numbered dots.

What happens if you hand the same page to two children – one that knows numbers and one that doesn’t?

Come on, we’ve all seen it. The child that knows numbers ends up with a picture of a tree or animal; whereas the other child simply connects the dots randomly and ends up with who knows what.

Where is your “life dot-to-dot” taking you? What type of picture are you hoping it makes? Is it “neat & orderly” or “messy & scattered” or a combination of both?

The important thing to remember is that it’s YOUR LIFE! You determine when and where to draw the next line. Whether the outcome is expected or a complete surprise, at some point you’ll get to where you want to be, “there”.

The “picture” you create will be even more beautiful than you can imagine.

So, you’ve got some work to do!

Go now! Take out your pen, pencil or crayon and discover your life’s “dot-to-dot”.