A wise man once told me, “When you try to focus on more than one thing, you actually end up focusing on no-thing.”
If you’re like me, your focus changes throughout the day. In the morning it’s all about waking up and preparing for the day ahead. My morning “routine” includes a shower, a cup of coffee, a shaker bottle of Zeal Wellness, and devotions. The first three wake me up physically and provide nutrition for the body. The last wakes me up spiritually and feeds my soul.
Following these, I speak my affirmations/declarations –
“I am a writer. Writers write.”
“I am a child of God.”
“I am blessed so I can be a blessing to others.”
“Fear is a liar.”
Out the door I go, prepared to take on the day…
Once I arrive at work, “it’s all about work”. I am paid to perform specific tasks, so that is where I focus my energy. I’m all about “first things first, second things second etc”. That’s the joys of baking…you can’t bake the cakes until you’ve combined the ingredients and made the batter -> there’s an order to it! I guess you could say “I like order.”
On days we don’t bake, I am filling commercial orders. You guessed it, there’s a “process” I follow -> Make the shipping boxes, tag/label the shipping boxes, etc… I guess you could say “I like processes because they assist in keeping things in order.”
On the way home I start planning the evening. First there’s dinner to cook, lunches to be made, homework to help with, showers/baths to take, and if time allows – a little television to watch. Yes, again you can see I’m “obsessed” with “process & order”.
To end the day, I read -> currently “Destiny” by T.D. Jakes and a few chapters of whatever book of the Bible I am in. I find getting away from the “blue screen” helps relax the body, mind, and spirit. It’s much easier to drift off into a deep slumber once the “static” of the day has been removed from my life.
I stay, mostly, within my “framework”. It’s the foundation on which I build my day. In many ways, it acts like a “security blanket” for me. Certainly, there are days when it bends under the strain of life’s challenge, but it never breaks. Has it come close? Yes, but by uncovering my weaknesses, I am given the opportunity to re-build my “framework” stronger. I know that no matter how rotten the day may have been, no matter how many of my processes failed, or how much dis-order grew from order -> tomorrow is a new day. I will be given a fresh start.
The best part is – I control what gets added or subtracted from my “framework”. I DECIDE! Can it become “too large, encompassing or so unwieldy” that it needs to be scrapped and rebuilt in favor of a smaller, flexible structure? Oh, you bet it can! That’s what makes the “framework” so handy. It’s easily modified. It’s amazing to me how it morphs seemingly “at will” in support of my needs.
Having a “framework” also means there are well-defined “limits” or “levels of control” involved. Let’s refer to these as “priorities”. Trust me, nothing good ever comes from losing focus on your priorities.
This, then, is the question – “How many priorities can I have?” I think the answer to this is obvious – one priority. You can only have a single priority. Again, if you have too many priorities, you are actually focusing on NO PRIORITY!
And just what should that priority be?
YOU!
I know this may sound selfish, but if you don’t take care of “you”, who will?
Go ahead, take some time and examine your “framework”. Write a list of everything it does & supports. My quick list includes: home, family, friends, and work. Who or what is going to support all of that if you aren’t up to it? Someone else? Do you really think someone else is going to care and love for your family like you? Really?!?!?
Take time to take care of yourself. Better yet, make the time to care for yourself. One of the best “things” I have ever done was to take/make those times early in the morning (devotions) and prior to bedtime (reading) “for me”.
How do others “know” when I’ve “had enough”; when I simply need to “shut down all interactions with my responsibilities and get away for some emergency ‘me time'”? I simply go to my “spot” with a cup of coffee. You need to have a “spot”. I know you have one. Mine is outside on the back patio. I’ll go sit in a chair and just look at the trees for hours and “not think”. My family “knows” when I am out there with my coffee to “stay clear”.
It’s not that I’m mad, pissed-off, or upset. I just need some time to myself, to clear my thoughts, to re-adjust, to cool down before I do or say “something stupid” which usually ends up hurting someone’s feelings I had never intended to hurt.
Are you making time to enjoy doing things you like to do? Just because you have a family or other obligations/responsibilities doesn’t mean you should quit enjoying things that make you happy or bring you joy. You need to find a way to weave them into your framework.
Bottom line. Communicate. The only way to get what you need is to let others know what you need.
Let them know. Ask for it. Repeatedly. Never stop.
Focus, Framework, Priorities and You.
Four words, but yet so much more…
Dan’s View 