Author: Dan

I’m going to tell you a story. It’s been a work in progress and took the past 6 or so years to write, but I am sure it will clearly demonstrate the impact of “adding value” to someones life.  The culmination of the story occurred on Christmas night at my house…

I’ll begin at the end…

On Christmas night, Shan,  my 30 year old daughter (we don’t use the term “step” in our house) presented me with “Adult Adoption” paperwork. The paperwork included a full page, hand-written “this is why you are my dad and why you should adopt me” message.

I was speechless, which is not a frequent occurrence for me.

The message wasn’t full of “bullet pointed reasons” but full of things I had said, ways I have treated mom, my other kids (Amy & Jordan) and my grandkids, or actions I have taken that have impacted her life. At the time of these actions they may have seemed small, inconsequential, or spoken “out of love”, but obviously the value they added to Shan’s life was immeasurable.

Over the years I have grown keenly aware of the “hurt” my wife and children sustained from her divorce.  The “hurt” that never heals – the feeling of rejection because their biological father wants no contact with them.  The “hurt” that they are “not good enough” for him, his new wife and family. The “hurt” that never seems to fade away…

I will never forget the first time I “stepped up”. It was six years ago. There was some “silliness” going on between Windy and her ex concerning  a missing birth certificate and who was going to pay the fee for the replacement. Windy’s ex-husband was all about placing blame and “being right” and was, well,  simply belittling her to tears.

Once I figured out what was going on,  I told Windy to just hang up. She didn’t need or deserve to be treated so poorly.

I said,  “There are times to teach and times to get shit done. It’s time to be done.”  With the deadline approaching it was not a time to teach, but a time to get shit done (as well as be done dealing with her ex).  My point had been made. And taken.

Shan mentioned that incident specifically in her written message even though it occurred over 6 years ago. Actually, she mentions “those words” in many of our talks.  It must have made an impression. I may never speak or deliver a more simple, direct, and impactful set of words in my daughter’s life. And you know what? That’s “ok”.

Why?

Because those words spoke loudly into her life. Those words told her that as my daughter I would always be there for her. Just like I would always be there for her mother. Just like I would always be there for my other children and grandchildren. That I would be the best father I could be. Those words told Shan that I cared, or as she says “that I give a crap about her”.

Those words helped fill a hole in her heart with “something” from my heart.

And, the funny thing is, I do give a crap about her! I only want the best for her. I want her to “figure life out”. I want her to get the most out of life she possibly can. But, the only way that’s going to happen is if she makes the effort and puts in the work. I can provide all kinds of love, supporting words, and guidance (i.e. “add value”) but she’s the one that has to do the heavy lifting. She’s the one that has to make the choices & sacrifices along the way.

Are mistakes going to happen along the way?  Yes!

Are tears going to be shed? Yes!

Are we going to have to stop, pick up the pieces and try again until she gets it right? Yes!

In my mind, this is what parents are supposed to do! Love on their children!! I am her parent. Therefore, I love on her…through it all…no matter what.

Isn’t this exactly what Our Heavenly Father has been doing in your life? Loving on you? Forgiving you over and over and over again. No matter what? Heck, Our Heavenly Father loves you so much HE SENT HIS ONLY SON TO DIE FOR YOU!

Now that, folks, is love!

And how does that love make you feel? Maybe, like you have value?

Case Closed!

Words have power. The right words, spoken at the right time will impact you or someone you love in unknown ways for the rest of your life…

“…here’s one last present for you dad. All you gotta do is read ’em, fill in a few blanks, sign and date them and I’ll take care of the rest…oh, but only if you want to…I mean, you do know how much a pain I can be…”

A quick recap of last week:

I Matter. You Matter. We Matter.

Sure…

…that all sounds good, but what does it mean?

It means, “I have value”.

It means,  “I am here, now,  for some other reason than to simply breathe air and take up space”.

Is “value” part of that reason? And if so, value to who?

I am valuable to my family.  I provide an income which pays for the necessities of life. I nurture and care for my family.  I try my best to meet the needs of my family. I love my family. I provide them with “things” they cannot receive from others outside our “family unit”.  And I do a whole lot more…

I am valuable to my friends. I provide them a point of view different than their own. I provide many of the same “things” for them as I do my family, just at a “different level” as I am not as “close” to my friends as I am my family.

I am valuable to strangers. I may provide them a kind word, an ear to bend, a shoulder to cry on, or simply directions to the nearest gas station among other things. Again, I do for strangers many of the same “things” I do for my friends & family, just at a “different level”.

So, it’s safe to say I have “value” to everyone I know or meet. Oh, and the same goes for you.

I wonder, did you notice?  I have “value” to all three groups based upon what it is I give or offer. Again, I have “value” because of what I have to give. Seems pretty simple to understand. Thus, you have “value” because you also have “something” to give.

This is where finding your purpose in life comes in – what talent or skill has God given you to share with family, friends and strangers?

Maybe you know. Maybe you don’t know. Maybe you’re allowing fear to keep you from living in your calling. Don’t delay! Start today!

It will be the most challenging thing you’ll ever do, but it will also be the most rewarding.

But, how do I add value to someone?

Let’s tackle that one next week!

Ok, time for a qwik review:

1. I matter. You Matter. We Matter.
2. I have value.

I love my morning walks.  It’s during these walks when I usually “receive” the idea for the Thursday blog. It’s also the time I “define the concept” which typically involves a “give-n-take” between God and me. Ok. It’s more like me listening and asking Him  “really, you want me to go there?” or “explain to me how this is going to work ” And yes, 100% of the time we “go there and get it all explained”; which is always for the better.

And you know what, today was no different…

As soon as I “clicked” the door closed, the idea was planted -> how things far away look small, insignificant and feature-less, but by the time you actually get “up on them” those things are bigger, more significant, and feature-full than you ever imagined.

I pondered – “Why do I worry about the future when I should be focusing on the events happening now?”

My solution – I spoke aloud, “God equips me to handle today today. He will equip me to handle tomorrow tomorrow.” It works for me. I kept on walking-n-talking-n thinking…

“So, God is telling me to write another blog about ‘vision’ or ‘focus’,” I thought. “Two relevant ideas to blog on, right?”

Then as I continued our  “walk & talk”, additional thoughts began to arrive…

“Maybe there’s a tie-in to time & perception. Hmm…”

I came up with –

As a kid you can’t wait to be all grown up. You dream about who and what you’re going to do and who you’re going to be. “Life” seems so far away, unclear and feature-less.

Next thing ya know, it seems you’re out of school, looking for that first job, first apartment, first(last?) “real” relationship. “Life” is happening quickly. “Life” doesn’t seem that far away any longer, “Life” is a little clearer and you can make out some features.

Baaaam! You’re old. Your family is all grown up, maybe moved away, maybe not. It’s just you and your spouse in the house. “Life” happened quickly. Looking back, you see it all clearly and in great detail and remark “I had a great life”.

Allow me to ask (we’re going existential for a moment) –

If you knew  your “life story” prior to living it – would you still live it? And I mean live it exactly the same?

Or…

If you could change anything that occurred in your life, and I mean, anything, would you change it?

Knowing that…

<-> Every event that occurs in your life happens for a reason – nothing happens “on accident”. Nothing!

<-> Every event that occurs in your life adds up to who you are at that moment.

<-> Every interaction  – from a simple smile to eye-contact to the knowing head nod, etc affects not only you, but the other individual(s) involved

Remove ANY  event/activity/interaction that had occurred in your life, from your life, and you would be a “different you” than you are at this moment; which means anyone with whom you had an interaction would be different also etc etc etc.

Change “one little thing” and it changes “everything” for “everyone”- a pretty sobering thought.

Time for a reality check…

So, after all of this “give-n-take” I’ve been having with God I’ve “discovered” what this blog is all about…and I’ve written on this topic multiple times…

You Matter.

God created you “on purpose” & “for a purpose”. If you can’t/won’t believe that, well, then this blog isn’t for you. And the next one won’t be either.

Why?

Because the time has arrived to determine what your “purpose” is, and I am going to help you do just that.

How?

I don’t really know. I do know God will lead me the direction I need to go. He will supply exactly what I need, when I need it – no more and no less, not early, not late. The supply will arrive at the exact time it is required. That’s what He does because I am important to Him. I matter!

Let’s just begin our start journey there. Let’s start at – “I matter”.

Allow it time to sink in. Don’t rush. We have no reason to hurry.

Dwell on it.

Speak it. Speak it again.

Own it.

Believe it.

I really enjoy the services at my church.  It’s a pretty relaxed atmosphere. Very rarely are the men dressed in suits or women in dresses. Dress shirts with ties are few and far between too.  That’s just not my church.

The service starts anywhere from 10:01 am – 10:15 am depending. Depending on who’s leading or how the conversations in the hall are going. Start on time (10 am)? That’s just not my church.

The service is a blend of praise & worship music, fellowship time and a lesson/sermon.  Voices are raised. Shouts of “amen” and “hallelujah” fill the air. Arms/Hands are uplifted. There is laughter. There is crying. There is dancing. There is flag waving.  This is worship with excitement and anticipation!

YES! THAT’S MY CHURCH!

You can feel God is there, in worship with us; inviting us INTO worship with him. It’s totally awesome. Oftentimes his presence is so strong there are times I don’t want to leave. I’ll sit in my chair and just “stay in his presence” until, well, basically until I’ve got my “fill”.  That time is so peaceful and so restful. I think I am slowly understanding what “resting in Him” is about…or so I think.

Last Sunday was “different”.

I enjoy singing and I mean, I really enjoy singing. I’ll sing melody, harmony, or “do my own thing” when the music starts. You might say, I do what the spirit moves me to do. I’m totally “ok” with that as are the people sitting by me. I’ve been told that I should be part of the music team because others enjoy my voice. But ya know, I’ve been part of so many choirs in my lifetime that I kinda, you know, just wanna sing the way I wanna sing, without being responsible for a “part” or staying “within the lines”. It’s “freeing”. It’s how I choose to worship right now. It’s how I reveal myself to Him, and I guess how He reveals Himself to me. It’s just how our relationship works.

Anyway, this past Sunday I didn’t sing, I couldn’t sing. Oh, believe you me, I tried. I just couldn’t seem to find my “singing mojo”. I felt fine. My voice felt fine. Hmm…what’s “wrong”? Was I frustrated? Yes, because singing is how I worship! 

So, what did I do instead?

I stopped trying to sing!

I closed my eyes & opened my heart. I listened. I “felt” the music. It was wonderfully “different”! I was “awash in waves of music” – the multitude of voices, the rhythmic beating of the drums & the melodies flowed over and through me in a way I have never experienced.

I exited the service feeling “refreshed”, but “refreshed different”. I’m not even sure what that means – “refreshed different”.

Anyway, does it really matter? Even though I had difficulty revealing myself to Him, He unwaveringly revealed Himself to me. Isn’t THAT was relationship is all about – just “being there for the other guy” whether or not he’s there for you?

Ya know what? God’s there for you every day of your life. He doesn’t ask for anything or want anything from you. He’s there – day in and day out – right beside you, fighting the good fight; whether or not you know He is there, He is there.

ALL. THE. TIME.

HE. IS. THERE.

How different!

My wife’s alarm clock goes off every morning around 5 am. Most days she gets right up out of bed. Other days, she hits “snooze”, rolls over and goes back to sleep…only to repeat the process after a few minutes. Eventually, she climbs out from beneath the warm covers and starts her day. She’s able to get to her place of work on time and tend to her duties as a nurse whether she gets right up or hits “snooze”.

But, what if she didn’t set her alarm or thought she hit “snooze” but didn’t?  She’d probably be late to work and wouldn’t be able to fulfill all her duties as a nurse. She’d not only be letting herself down, but also those that depend on her, her co-workers and patients.

What if, instead of an alarm, it was God calling? Would you get right up or hit “snooze”?

“calling” is defined as: “a strong urge toward a particular way of life or career; a vocation.”

The term is often used in reference to ministry, as in, “I have a calling to minister to those in need.”

What is your “calling”?

I have been called to “serve” – a fairly “generic” calling I’d say.

For the longest time I did not understand my calling. I could not define my calling.  I did not know how to “act” in/on my calling. All I knew is that I “had a calling”.

Additional clarity arrived a few years ago – “Feed them”.

What the heck? I’m supposed to cook for people? I don’t know how to cook.  Besides, I don’t wanna cook! How’s this going to work?

Next thing ya know, I started a blog. Don’t really know what motivated me.  I enjoy the creativity associated with writing, so blogging would be a good way to “let my creativity out”. I figured I would do just that – “write” – and worry about “finding my voice” later, once I had this blogging thing all figured out.

So, I blogged. Blogged about my experiences. Blogged about family. Blogged just about everything & anything. But I blogged. And kept on blogging; all the while, trying to “find my voice”.

And guess what? God started providing me words and my “voice”. I’d start a blog knowing the direction I was going, and dang, if He wouldn’t take me some other direction. At some point, I was no longer sharing my “small” idea. I was sharing the words flowing from Him which lead to a much “larger” idea. It seemed I never wrote what I thought I would write (even though my idea was “good”) because through Him I would end up writing something “better”.

Funny thing, I can “tell” when I’m writing “through Him” because I don’t have to “search for the words”. I simply “write the words that come”.  The words/phrases/sentences just flow freely, like the entire blog was  “composed & completed” in my mind. All I do is type. I type until the words stop, then I “Save” and logout. Done. Sometimes I edit. Sometimes I don’t. There have even been a few occasions when I’ve deleted most of what I wrote and replaced it with what was flowing from Him. CRAZY!

Now, maybe that doesn’t make sense to you, but it makes perfectly good sense to me. I’m not even sure that description does “the process” justice. I’m not saying this happens for every blog, but it happens for most. It’s pretty cool. It’s a “thing”.  I might say, it’s my “God & Dan thing”. Yup, me & God have a “thing”. CRAZY!

Anyway, one day, it hit me. Not like a ton of bricks, but in a more subtle kind of way, like  “ooooh, now I understand my calling”…

• People read my blog. I may only have have a few “followers”, but I know other people besides them read my blog…and that means…I am feeding people with my words, or I should say “His words”. I’ve fed them hope. I’ve told them “You Matter”.

I got it. “Feed them”.

A strange thing happened along the way. I lost my job of 14 years. I got a new job in less than a week. Through all the ups & downs, I continued to blog.

One day at the abbey bakery (the “new” job), it hit me again, subtly…

• You bake fruitcakes. You sell fruitcakes. You take the underweight cakes home and share them with others. YOU FEED PEOPLE!

I really got it now. “Feed their body & spirit”.

That, my friends, is how a “call” God works. Plain and simple.

Is this “It”? Is there more to my calling than this? I don’t know. This feels more like a “Beginning” than it does an “End”. So, only time will tell. Until then, I’ll have to trust in the “God & Dan thing” and follow where it leads.

What will you do when He “calls”?  Get up & take action or hit “snooze”?

I’m “acting in/on my calling”; so, I’ve made my choice.

What’s yours?

This weeks’ story is about hide-n-seek, not as we know it, but as the animals in the forest know it. Sounds interesting, doesn’t it?

This one’s a bit longer than the others I have posted.

Enjoy!

“Hide-n-Seek”

Once upon a time, there was a bear playing happily in the forest with all the other woodland creatures. The sky was clear, a gentle breeze was blowing which rattled the limbs and shook the leaves from the trees. The creatures in the woods that lazy fall afternoon included  foxes and rabbits, a stinky skunk or two, several deer, and others unseen in the thick grove of trees.   It was the most perfect fall day the animals had ever lived and they wanted to make the most of whatever time remained in the day; for they did not know if they would ever experience such a beautiful day again.

The favorite game of the animals was hide-n-seek, for each animal must take special care in knowing how to hide from the hunters coming soon to the woods. The game was a fun way for them to improve their hiding skills. It was an important skill because the animals of the forest were all great friends. It would be terrible for even just one of the animals to be removed from the forest by the hunters.

During many of the games  Ralph, the big, slow-moving brown bear, was found first. He didn’t like being found first.  Being found first frustrated Ralph. He grew madder and grumpier each time he was found first, but he and the others kept playing anyway. Sometimes Ralph would get so mad he would just “give up” and not even look for a place to hide!

The other animals in the forest began to notice Ralph’s mood change, so they decided to meet and discuss what could be done to keep Ralph from becoming so grumpy all the time. Being sly animals, the foxes came up with an idea.

“Why not have the animal that was ‘It’ simply pretend not to see Ralph and continue seeking the other animals that were hidden?” They questioned.

This would allow Ralph to be “found” after at least one of the other creatures had been “found”. Oh how the animals of the forest rejoiced at this plan. It was the “prefect” plan. It was even decided to find Ralph first only after all the other woodland animals had had the chance to be “It”.  This would allow all the animals of the forest to share in the fun of the game. But better, keep Ralph from becoming all mad and grumpy.

But, would it work?

At first it was awkward for the woodland creatures to “not see” Ralph when he was trying to hide. It was always easy to see his big belly sticking out from behind a tree or his tail hanging down from the tree limb he was sitting on. But, after a few games the animals had all adjusted to the new plan. Everyone in the forest began to notice Ralph wasn’t growing grumpy as they played. All the other animals were having more fun playing too.

Unfortunately, the animals had forgotten the real reason for playing hide-n-seek: to improve their hiding skills so they’d be safe from the hunters!  Sure, the other animals in the forest were still getting better at hiding, but Ralph never improved at all. Actually, because of the plan, Ralph actually grew worse at hiding. This wasn’t good, as it would soon be hunting season.

Late September came. Soon it would be hunting season. Hunting season meant many people would be walking the forest day and night seeking out whatever animal was legal to hunt. The turkeys flew high up into the trees, the deer and elk ran into the thick, deep dark forest, but good ol’ Ralph just sat right down in the middle of the biggest meadow he could find. Why, simply because that’s where he “hid” during the games and was never found!

One day while sunning himself in a meadow Ralph heard a loud “BANG” that made the hair on his back stand straight up. It was at that moment Ralph knew hunting season had indeed started and he should go hide. Ralph wasn’t too worried though, because he knew he was the best hider in the woods since the other animals never found him. Even as the  sounds from the hunter’s rifles grew closer, Ralph lounged in the sunshine.

Poor ol’ Ralph, he never stood a chance against the men with the rifles and 4-wheel drive vehicles. One  minute he was relaxing in the sun and the next he woke up, all smooshed and smashed into a metal box that was sitting in the back of a truck. His box was one of the many boxes on the truck which held creatures of the forest.

Ralph couldn’t figure out what he had done wrong when he hid from the men who placed him in the box. He hid the exact same way as when he was playing with his friends, but somehow the men were still able to find him. He was very confused by this.

Soon the truck carrying Ralph and the others arrived at its destination and was unloaded. Ralph thought the building looked nice. His area was warm and there was food waiting for him, so he didn’t think much more about hiding and how he was found.

As the days passed, Ralph became restless  in his new surroundings. His space was limited. He no longer could just go run and play outside. He missed his friends who were back in the forest. He was tired of the same food, at the same time, at the same place in his area every day. He missed roaming the forest looking for berries or jumping into the stream when he was trying to catch salmon. Ralph really wanted to be free again. Free to romp and play in the forest. Better yet, free to play hide-n-seek with his friends.

Ralph needed to escape from his area, but how? He watched his keepers very carefully hoping to find a weakness, but decided one didn’t exist. There was always a keeper watching Ralph and the others. He thought he might never get out. Never ever.

However, one day something big and exciting was happening. All the keepers were really busy running around the building. Ralph watched as they hung bows, ribbons and streamers everywhere. He also heard loud music coming from the overhead speakers.

“Today,” thought Ralph, “will be the day I escape.”

And do you know what? Ralph was right! The people were so busy decorating the room Ralph was being kept in that someone had forgotten to lock the latch that locked his cage door shut. Being smarter than an average bear, Ralph slowly walked towards the door. Once he got there he lifted the latch and opened the door. Out walked Ralph, totally unnoticed!

Once outside Ralph quickly hid, and I mean “really hid” himself behind and in the middle of a big collection of bushes. He needed to figure out exactly where he was and find a way back to the forest. Ralph was also feeling a bit hungry, so he needed to find some food too.

Ralph sat and thought,

“With all the balloons and ribbons and streamers, there must be a party…and if there is a party, there must be food. I’ll stay in these bushes as long  as I can and see if I can see any food for the party.”

Ralph was right. Soon a small catering truck pulled next to the bushes. The driver opened the back door displaying a truck loaded full of vegetable platters and grilled salmon. Now all he needed to do was wait until the driver started taking the trays to the party space. While the driver was gone,  Ralph could run and grab a platter or two for himself.

Ralph’s plan worked perfectly. He now had a platter  of salmon and a platter of vegetables to eat while he waited for it to get dark so he could walk back to the forest.

“But which way is it to the forest?”, thought Ralph.  “I think if I hide here until dark the stars will be out and I can get to the forest by finding the North Star.”

So, that’s what he did. He sat there in the bushes, ate his food and waited for night to come. He was even able to take a short nap.

Night came, so Ralph began walking home. Then he realized something. He knew which direction North was by the star, but he wasn’t sure if he needed  northwest or southwest. Poor Ralph.

Ralph decided not to stop, he just continued walking. Ralph wanted to get home. He then recalled a saying he had learned as a cub.

“When in doubt, use your snout.  When in fear, use your ears.”

Yes, that’s it! Ralph would lift his snout high up and smell the air. He would also listen to the wind with his ears. That should do it. Unfortunately for Ralph, he was in the big city now. The fumes of car exhaust and the honking of the horns interfered with his snout and ears.

Ralph didn’t know what to do. He was tired and just wanted to get back to the forest. He needed to find a place to spend the night, but since there were no big bushes to hide in, he had to find something else. Ralph continued walking and after a few more steps he saw a small pickup with a tarp covering the back.

“That’s a good enough place for now. I can sleep there and leave right as the sun comes up,” he thought.

And that’s what he did.

The next morning Ralph peeked out from under that tarp and noticed he was in the middle of a forest! He wasn’t too sure which forest, but it was better than being in the city.  He stuck out his snout and ears. The air smelled very much like the air in his forest, but it didn’t sound like his forest. Ralph got out of the truck and looked around.

He walked to the front of the truck and saw a compass and a map, so he took them. He had been trained to use them as a cub too! Ralph quickly ran into a heavily wooded area nearby.  He would stay hidden there until he was able to figure out which direction to take to go home.  It took Ralph a little bit of time to remember how to use the compass and map.

Ralph remembered “just enough” to find the direction he needed to walk. As he was a law-abiding bear, he placed the map and the compass back in the truck before he started back to the woods. But, he did grab the lunchbox he saw in the truck and open it. He swiped the peanut butter and jelly sandwich, well, because he was hungry and had a long trip to ahead of him.

Off went Ralph back into the brush, walking in the direction he needed to get home. The closer he got to home, the better the air smelled and the more familiar the sounds were. Soon enough he got close enough to hear the other woodland creatures playing. It sounded to him like they were playing hide-n-seek!

“Oh, won’t they be all excited to see me?” Thought Ralph.

Ralph waited to see who was “It”.  It was his friend the rabbit. A funny thing happened though, rabbit hopped right up to him and tagged Ralph “It”, like he had never left! Poor Ralph was all confused. “How could they not notice I was gone?”

Before the next game started, Ralph gathered all the woodland creatures and asked them,

“Where do you think I have been since the last time you saw me?”

Not a single one of the forest creatures had a good answer. The foxes finally said,

“We thought you actually found a great place to hide and nobody ever could find you, so we just kinda gave up and stopped looking for you.”

All the creatures laughed and Ralph laughed too! After everyone stopped laughing, Ralph told them the story about about sunning in the meadow, being captured and then escaping from the men and returning to the forest.

The creatures of the forest didn’t believe Ralph.

“You fell asleep when you hid.” They said.  “Your ‘adventures’ were  just a dream.”

It irritated Ralph that none of the creatures believed his story. It didn’t really matter, though, because he was back in his forest again with his friends…playing hide-n-seek.

– The End –

The phrase “Burn the ships” is generally credited to Captain Hernán Cortés.  In 1519, he and his troops landed in Veracruz planning to conquer the Aztecs.  He reportedly ordered his men to burn the ships in which they came. This action gave them no other option but to succeed (or die trying). Talk about motivation, wow! Oh, and in case you’re wondering, Cortés and his men were victorious (eventually).

Letting go of your past isn’t easily accomplished, but may be the best action you can take on the way to achieving your future. Hell, it may be the ONLY way to achieve it. You have to “burn the ships” connected to what is weighing you down.

“Burning the ships” not only lightens our burden, but also forces us to move forward. It breaks the link connecting our present self to our past hurts and errant ways.

Many of us were so deeply hurt by actions or words in our past that we can’t see the vision for our future. Holding onto these feelings/emotions is stopping us from becoming who and what we desire to be; who God created us to be. By clinging onto our past we are unable to grab our future. Again, you gotta let go!

“Burn the ships!”

Maybe you’re wondering…what motivated me to write this?

I’ve had the song titled “Burn the Ships” (coincidence?) by for King & Country stuck in my head since I heard it the first time; especially the chorus:

I think that just about says it all, right?

YouTube “Burn the Ships” video:

Alrighty then, I’m back with another story to share…hopefully you enjoyed the first story and that’s why you returned…

This one is a little different and really rough around the edges…

Thanks for “hanging in there”…

Harold & Griff

One day while walking through the park, Harold saw something scurrying across the luscious green grass and disappear down a tiny hole. Being an inquisitive little fellow Harold rambled aimlessly towards the hole making sure to avoid looking awkward or out of place because he didn’t want to startle his impending discovery or interrupt others in the park.

Since it was a weekend day the park was full of people enjoying the sunny day. The activities of the picnickers varied greatly. Most of the people in the park were lounging under the shade of the trees laughing and giggling while enjoying their lunch of cold fired chicken, potato salad, and other “picnicky” foods. Others were tossing around frisbees or flying kites. It was quite a happy place, filled with activity. It was quite the quaint little scene…which made Harold feel nervous and insecure, for you see, Harold was your basic every day, average type of golden retriever puppy out enjoying  a walk through the park.

But why was Harold all nervous and insecure, after all “everybody” loves puppies! Maybe Harold was worried what the people in the park might do if he went racing off after whatever it was that went scurrying down the hole. Harold didn’t want to frighten or scare anyone…but what if what he saw was a danger to others? What if it wasn’t? Wouldn’t he look totally silly chasing it and he certainly didn’t want to look silly!

Well, after a few minutes Harold finally arrived at the hole into which the little creature disappeared. Harold began sniffing around the hole to see if he could pick up the creature’s scent, so perhaps he could find the creature’s trail and track him later that day, but soon he gave up because it was time for lunch, and Harold LOVED lunch. He never missed one, ever. The only thing Harold hated missing more than lunch was his nap, for he was a growing puppy and would tire quickly from all the running around he did while playing with his owners.

Luckily for Harold, the animal had quite the unique scent. It was unlike anything he had ever sniffed before. He was sure he’d never forget this smell and vowed to discover this creature no matter how long it required. Harold even decided that from this day forward he would eat his meals quicker and sleep a little less longer in order to find this animal because it was just THAT important to Harold.

So, Harold strolled back to his owner’s picnic bench and began eating his food while watching out of the corner of this eye for a glimpse of the elusive creature. Oh, and what a tasty meal is was – peanut butter sandwiches – his favorite! However, as Harold was eating he saw the little animal pop its head out of the hole and stick its tongue out at him!

Man, that really irritated Harold. He was hopping mad but yet, couldn’t do anything about it, because his master had placed a collar around his neck and ties the leash around a tree. All poor Harold could do was sit, stare and then snarl at the little creature. “It was so unfair”, thought Harold.

Soon though, Harold’s owner noticed the strange behavior Harold was exhibiting and took Harold home for the day. Perhaps Harold had been out in the sunlight too much and had overheated while running around, playing in the park all day. So, off went Harold and his master towards their car.

Harold wriggled and wrangled before crawling into the car. He just had to find out what type of creature the little animal he saw was. Harold thought a lot about the way he was acting and decided he was being just plain silly. “Gee, why am I being so silly over one silly little animal.” wondered Harold. So, Harold decided to just relax and enjoy the scenery as it passed by on his way home.

When Harold got home, he quickly ran off to his doghouse and laid down for a nap. Perhaps he was acting strangely because he had not gotten enough sleep the past several days. Well, off went Harold to “dreamland” where he began dreaming “dog dreams” – things like chasing cars and actually catching one or maybe lounging under a tree while gnawing the biggest bone he could imagine. Oh, how peaceful these dreams were. But then, guess what? Harold began dreaming about that little animal he saw at the park! And yet again, it was sticking it’s tongue out at him, daring Harold to chase him.

This really shook Harold. He thought maybe the tiny creature had followed him home and was waiting outside the doghouse to “scare him”. But, being brave, Harold decided to venture outside of his “safe” doghouse and search for this creature. Nothing would stop him form a good nap, nothing!

Harold wandered aimlessly around his yard and even snuck a peak into his neighbor’s yard through a small hole, but there was no sign of the little creature.  This relieved Harold because now he felt the creature hadn’t followed him home. Harold crawled back into his doghouse and fell asleep.

The next morning Harold woke up and felt really refreshed. As a matter of fact, Harold never felt better. He was ready to face the new day with vim and vigor like never before. He sauntered up to his master’s door and scratched it signaling his master to bring him breakfast; for nothing was more important than breakfast. Harold quickly chomped his breakfast of corn flakes, toast and a glass of juice. He then rambled to his favorite spot in the yard and lay down for an after breakfast snooze. Harold enjoyed the snooze almost as much as breakfast.

Ah, but something was different about his favorite spot today. There appeared to be a small hole right in the very spot Harold had usually placed his bone. His bone was okay, but the hole worried him. He started to think, “the hole wasn’t there yesterday, or was it? How did that hole get there? AAAAAAAAHHHHH, maybe the little creature DID follow me home!!

Harold was really freaked out. He began barking and yelping as loud as he could. Out ran his owner who tossed a biscuit to shut him up, but the quiet didn’t last long. Harold kept on making noises. His owner came out again with Harold’s collar and leash and took Harold for a walk. The walk really helped calm poor old Harold’s nerves. So  much so, that he lay back down to take a nap. Harold was just warn out from his morning.

But again, Harold has the same dream with the little creature. Poor Harold was beside himself. He just didn’t know what to do. He decided to just stay in the doghouse and do nothing. When lunchtime arrived and his master placed his bowl outside Harold didn’t go eat. Seeing Harold not eat and lying there in his doghouse, his master decided to take Harold to the vet…who couldn’t find anything wrong with Harold. So, back home they went.

Guess what Harold saw when his master drove by the park? Yup, the little creature! This drove Harold right out of his mind. He jumped right out of the bed of the pickup truck and chased the little creature all over the park. Boy was Harold excited about catching this creature. Harold almost has him several times but the small animal always managed to slink it’s way into the safety of its hole. Nothing could stop Harold though. He started digging the last home bigger and wider and deeper until he dug so deep and wide he could grab the creature.

Hmm…Harold had never caught a creature before so he didn’t know what he should do next. Harold decided it would be best to hold it under one of his paws and ask it questions. The little creature was quite scared and out of breath from all the running, but Harold tried anyway. Once the creature calmed down, Harold asked what type of animal the tiny creature might be. The creature replied he was a groundhog.

Harold was shocked. He had never seen or even held a groundhog before and here he was talking with one. Harold was so interested in his newfound friend that he snuck the groundhog home and into his doghouse.

Once inside the doghouse Harold learned its name was Griff. He and Griff had fun talking about the park. Harold was happy to have made a friend in Griff.  Griff was happy Harold had forgiven him for following him home that day and spooking him. So, on every trip to the park Harold and a friend he could talk and play with. Heck, Harold even shared his lunch with Griff, but just a very small portion, well, because Harold really loved his lunches but didn’t want Griff to feel left out.

-The End-

“Every situation in life is temporary. So, when life is good, be sure to enjoy and receive it fully. And when life is not so good, remember that it will not last forever and better days are on the way.” – Bruce Lee

We’ve all been there – “between a rock and a hard place”. We may not know how we got there, but we do eventually get out.

What does it take to “get out”?  After all, it’s our choice whether to stay or to go.

We have to decide to get out.

We have to change our situation, take control of the our lives,  be responsible for our own life.

What does responsibility look like in my life? Am I responsible? Do others see me as responsible? Who am I failing when I am not responsible?

Choices. Decisions. Responsibilities. Three heavy burdens to bear. How we manage each of them defines who we are. So, who are you?

My brother and I discuss this rather frequently, and quite honestly, I think he helps me more than I help him. During one such conversation I asked him how he balances the challenges of work, family and the external pressures of daily living. His response, “I am the rock. No matter what is going on around here, no matter how good or bad or busy, I have to maintain and be the solid one. I have to be the strong one. Everyone looks to me when life is going to hell in a hand basket. There is no other option, period. It’s all on me and, yes, it sucks sometimes, but what are you going to do? Somebody has to deal with it and that somebody is “me”. And you know what, you’re your family’s rock too buddy, whether you like it or not; whether you want to be it or not. You, my brother, are their rock”.

Then I asked, “But dude, what the hell does the rock do when the rock is tired ,worn out, and frustrated because dude, this rock sure gets tired and beaten up by life sometimes.”

“You gotta talk with other rocks. That’s why I call you almost every day. You think I like talking with you? No I don’t… I call you because you’re a rock. You bring a different perspective. You know me and you know when I’m “tight” and need to unwind, relax, blow off steam…whatever. You always can tell when I need to laugh and you provide that for me. I also call dad, sometimes just to say ‘hello’ but most of the time just to hear his voice because some day I won’t be able to. Besides, he’s ‘been there, done that’ so maybe I can save beating  my head on the wall by listening to what he has to say about things; unlike when we were kids…right? Oh, and be sure to get some ‘alone time’, even if it’s just a few minutes here and there. You gotta find time because the rock needs to regroup and shutdown at times. You gotta take care of you too…”

And he continued, “but here’s the thing…what happens to rock when pressure is applied? It turns into a diamond, my man, you’re turning into a diamond. We’re becoming diamonds.  Right now maybe we’re ‘diamonds in the rough’, but ya know what…some day we’ll both be diamonds, all strong, shiny and priceless and then maybe, just maybe we can sit back and watch other ‘rocks’ in our life become diamonds. So, you got that going for ya.”

He’s the one that sent me the Bruce Lee quote I used at the start of this.  Funny thing though, he was the one having a “challenging day” at the office when we talked earlier that day, and yet, he’s the one sending me the motivation/inspiration instead of it being the other way around.

That’s a ‘rock’ for ya…

I haven’t updated the project status of my book in almost 6 weeks…not that anyone is counting…

…I’m not going to update you now…so…why create this blog entry??

I don’t really know why. Better yet, I don’t understand why.

This idea just “popped into my head” and I’m responding with “YES! Let’s do this!” Sometimes the best time to do something is when you first think about it, before fear and doubt sneak in and ruin the entire experience.

I am going to share stories I wrote 25+ years ago when I first “decided” to write children’s books. In the following weeks, I may even include fragments of ideas that drifted off into space…never to be heard from again…that is, until now.

Why now? Like I mentioned earlier, I don’t know why. I don’t understand why.  All I know is that I recently stumbled across the “story cache” and “the light bulb went off”. I am just thankful my mom thought to save her original copies which I mailed her all those years ago. Thanks mom!

Here’s the background for quite a few of the stories –

At the time, I was working as a swing shift computer operator. A few times a month I would ask the graveyard operator to leave me three words – preferably nouns (things) or adjectives (colors) – and I would write a story on my shift she could read on her shift. After the completion of each story I made several copies; sending them to friends and family. Each post will include a title (if it had one) as well as the three words which inspired it.

WARNING – I am a storyteller, so the stories are wordy and full of description. As a writer, my goal is to “tap into your mind and help you visualize the story in your head “. Thus, the stories may be a lengthy read. Most of them were 4-6, single spaced, type written pages with narrow margins and a small font; so actually, I’m not sure how long each story will take to read. I will attempt to “not edit” the stories. My plan is to simply copy them verbatim while correcting only spelling/punctuation errors. Also, these were meant to be stories for children so they may be kinda corny or preachy.  These were written most nights between 9pm and 11:30pm.

Thanks for joining me on this journey of “self re-discovery”.

Off we go….

Pete & Seth the Sloth

One day at the City Zoo, Pete the friendly trainer of the three-toed sloths was sitting under a rather large and shady maple tree enjoying the beautiful afternoon sky whilst partaking of his midday meal.  It was a lovely afternoon, not a cloud in any direction the eye could see and the bright sunshine felt warm upon Pete’s rough,  mountain-man type complexion. His meal was quite basic – just a bologna sandwich with mayonnaise, a dill pickle, and a bag of Frito Lay Corn Chips, with a Hostess Cupcake for dessert. This was Pete’s normal, every day type of lunch and he was always happy when he could enjoy it outside under the big maple tree as opposed to inside the building at the cafeteria.

Well, one day while Pete was enjoying his lunch he came across and incredible idea. If he enjoyed his lunch outside under the maple tree, then perhaps some of the animals in the zoo might enjoy their lunch outside of their cages. Now, since Pete was a well-trained handler of the 3 toed sloths, he thought he’d first begin with them. So, the next day Pete decided to take a 3 toes sloth from its small cage with him outside under the big maple tree. This way neither the sloth or Pete would be having lunch alone.

The next day arrived and Pete was all excited about trying out his idea, but he wasn’t too sure about how to approach his boss. Pete thought of many different ways and almost threw the entire idea in the trash, but he thought it was important so he just walked head first into his boss’s office and just told him what his idea was.

At first, Pete’s boss wasn’t too thrilled with the idea, but since 3 toed sloths aren’t all that fast, he thought it would be “ok” for Pete to take one out of its cage and sit with Pete under the huge maple tree to accompany Pete on his lunch. So, the boss finally said it was “ok”, but warned Pete not to give the sloth any Fritos or bites of his cupcake.

Pete was so very happy about having a 3 toes sloth with him at lunch he forgot to notice the mud puddle he sat down in under the maple tree. Boy was Pete upset with himself. If he left “right then”, he’d have just enough time to run home and get a clean pair of pants to put on. So, off runs Pete to get a clean pair of jeans. But, who’s going to watch the 3 toes sloth??

Fortunately for Pete, the sloth was more interested in the contents of Pete’s brown bag than it was on running away. So, Seth the Sloth began poking his nose into the bag and pulled out the contents of Pete’s lunch. Pete, being the penny-pincher that he was, always bought the “Economy” size of everything. Thus, his Fritos were just tossed in the bag along with his cupcake. The only item wrapped was his bologna sandwich. Seth, being the determined one, quickly ate the Fritos and the cupcake, but had one heck of a time opening the bologna sandwich.

Never fear,,,Seth finally opened the sandwich and snarfed it right up. Whew, was Seth tired now because his tummy was full of the best food he had ever eaten. Hmm…now all Seth had to do was find a safe place to take a snooze. Being a sloth, Seth decided to climb up into the maple tree which was conveniently located right next to him so he didn’t have to walk very far. Up went Seth into the tree for a short nap…

But, what about Pete?

Upon returning home Pete quickly dashed into his room and looked in his dresser for a pair of clean jeans. Dang, the drawer was empty! Now what? Lucky for Pete he had just returned from visiting another zoo while on vacation and he hadn’t unpacked his small but filled to the brim suitcase. Hmm…but where did Pete put his suitcase? Pete ran frantically around his apartment going room to room until he finally remembered he didn’t bring the suitcase home. He had stuffed it in his locker at work! So, his clean pair of jeans was at the zoo all the time!

Quickly, Pete ran back to the locker room at the zoo, opened his locker, found the suitcase and pulled on a clean pair of jeans. Just then his boss entered the room and asked where the 3 toed sloth was. Poor Pete was horrified. He had forgotten all about the poor sloth and left it all alone in a strange new world.

Pete started thinking about where he had last seen the sloth and began retracing his steps from earlier in the day. His steps led him to the very same mud puddle he managed to sit right down in. Not being an expert on sloth behavior,  Pete discovered what he thought might several  small sloth tracks leading toward the tree and then stopping. Hmm… could the sloth have climbed into the tree?

Not knowing for sure, Pete searched high and low around the tree for any clue about the whereabouts of the missing sloth. Pete was ready to quit searching when he heard a gosh awful sound. Yup, Seth the sloth had managed to let out a snoring sound the likes of which Pete had never heard…and the sound came directly from the middle of the big maple tree!

So, Pete struggled up the tree and began climbing to the edge of every branch looking for the lost sloth. Being a skilled animal trainer, Pete began making little sounds hoping it might cause Seth to snore. Pete’s efforts were rewarded. After several moments in the tree Pete spotted the sloth hanging from the branch over his head. Pete would have totally missed Set if it weren’t for Seth’s tail falling onto the back of his neck.

Hmm..now that Pete found Seth the sloth, how was he going to get him out of the tree? Remembering what he had packed for lunch and noticing the only remnant of his lunch was the brown paper bag, Pete decided to visit the zoo’s cafeteria and purchase some Fritos and a cupcake to attract the sloth. So, Pete climbs carefully out of the maple tree marking the spot where Seth was quietly asleep. Pete then purchased all that was needed for his “trap” and returned back to the tree to set the “trap”.

Pete set up the food and made a path of Fritos leading out of the tree. Pete even managed to get his suitcase to trap Seth in since he would not be happy upon being trapped. Being a slow sloth, Seth took his sweet time coming down out of the tree and didn’t make too much nose once he was closed up in the suitcase. Why? because Seth just had another meal of the best tasting food he had ever tasted! He simply got comfortable and resumed his nap.

Upon waking up the next morning, Seth was safely inside small cage and Pete was back under the maple tree enjoying his lunch. It seems that Pete’s boss reprimanded Pete for not being more careful with Seth the sloth, but since Seth was happy and no worse for the wear, the boss saw no harm done. Pete was still allowed to take Seth the sloth out of his cage, but never again for lunch.

– The End –