Author: Dan

A wise man once told me, “When you try to focus on more than one thing, you actually end up focusing on no-thing.”

If you’re like me, your focus changes throughout the day. In the morning it’s all about waking up and preparing for the day ahead. My morning “routine”  includes a shower, a cup of coffee, a shaker bottle of Zeal Wellness, and devotions. The first three wake me up physically and provide nutrition for the body.  The last wakes me up spiritually and feeds my soul.

Following these, I speak my affirmations/declarations –

“I am a writer. Writers write.”

“I am a child of God.”

“I am blessed so I can be a blessing to others.”

“Fear is a liar.”

Out the door I go, prepared to take on the day…

Once I arrive at work, “it’s all about work”. I am paid to perform specific tasks, so that is where I focus my energy. I’m all about “first things first, second things second etc”. That’s the joys of baking…you can’t bake the cakes until you’ve combined the ingredients and made the batter -> there’s an order to it! I guess you could say “I like order.”

On days we don’t bake, I am filling commercial orders. You guessed it, there’s a “process” I follow -> Make the shipping boxes, tag/label the shipping boxes, etc… I guess you could say “I like processes because they assist in keeping things in order.”

On the way home I start planning the evening. First there’s dinner to cook, lunches to be made, homework to help with, showers/baths to take, and if time allows – a little television to watch. Yes, again you can see I’m “obsessed” with “process & order”.

To end the day, I read -> currently “Destiny” by T.D. Jakes and a few chapters of whatever book of the Bible I am in. I find getting away from the “blue screen” helps relax the body, mind, and spirit. It’s much easier to drift off into a deep slumber once the “static” of the day has been removed from my life.

I stay, mostly,  within my  “framework”.  It’s the foundation on which I build my day. In many ways, it acts like a “security blanket” for me. Certainly, there are days when it bends under the strain of life’s challenge, but it never breaks. Has it come close? Yes, but by uncovering my weaknesses, I am given the opportunity to re-build my “framework” stronger. I know that no matter how rotten the day may have been, no matter how many of my processes failed, or how much dis-order grew from order -> tomorrow is a new day. I will be given a fresh start.

The best part is – I control what gets added or subtracted from my “framework”.  I DECIDE! Can it become “too large, encompassing or so unwieldy” that it needs to be scrapped and rebuilt in favor of a smaller, flexible structure? Oh, you bet it can! That’s what makes the “framework” so handy. It’s easily modified. It’s amazing to me how it morphs seemingly “at will” in support of my needs.

Having a “framework” also means there are well-defined “limits” or “levels of control” involved. Let’s refer to these as “priorities”.  Trust me, nothing good ever comes from losing focus on your priorities.

This, then, is the question – “How many priorities can I have?” I think the answer to this is obvious – one priority. You can only have a single priority. Again, if you have too many priorities, you are actually focusing on NO PRIORITY!

And just what should that priority be?

YOU! 

I know this may sound selfish, but if you don’t take care of “you”, who will?

Go ahead, take some time and examine your “framework”. Write a list of everything it does & supports. My quick list includes: home, family, friends, and work. Who or what is going to support all of that if you aren’t up to it? Someone else? Do you really think someone else is going to care and love for your family like you? Really?!?!?

Take time to take care of yourself. Better yet, make the time to care for yourself. One of the best “things” I have ever done was to take/make those times early in the morning (devotions) and prior to bedtime (reading) “for me”.

How do others “know” when I’ve “had enough”; when I simply need to  “shut down all interactions with my responsibilities and get away for some emergency ‘me time'”? I  simply go to my “spot” with a cup of coffee. You need to have a “spot”. I know you have one. Mine is outside on the back patio. I’ll go sit in a chair and just look at the trees for hours and “not think”. My family “knows” when I am out there with my coffee to “stay clear”.

It’s not that I’m mad, pissed-off, or upset. I just need some time to myself, to clear my thoughts, to re-adjust, to cool down before I do or say “something stupid” which usually ends up hurting someone’s feelings I had never intended to hurt.

Are you making time to enjoy doing things you like to do? Just because you have a family  or other obligations/responsibilities doesn’t mean you should quit enjoying things that make you happy or bring you joy. You need to find a way to weave them into your framework.

Bottom line. Communicate. The only way to get what you need is to let others know what you need.

Let them know. Ask for it. Repeatedly. Never stop.

Focus, Framework, Priorities and You.

Four words, but yet so much more…

“Default settings” are familiar to people who use computers or  smartphones. These settings allow the product to be used “right out of the box”. “Default settings” can be modified and in many cases, restored, at the press of a button. These settings make the device easier to operate for the “novice” or the “technically challenged”; all the while allowing the savvy user to “personalize” his or her device.

“Default settings” aren’t limited to technology. Humans have them too! Ok, let’s not call them “settings”. Let’s just call them what they are –  “habits” or maybe even “automated responses to the same repeated experiences” which occur day in and day out, over and over again. Come on now, you know, what I’m talking about – the actions we take without putting any “real thought” into them. We all do it.

How many times have you said or heard someone say, “Today I feel like I’m running on auto-pilot.”? Have you ever thought if that was even possible? What if your life is being executed using “default settings”? Heck, what ARE your “default settings”?

I don’t know. Maybe what I’m trying to “get at” is this -> how active a role do you take in your own life? Are you actively participating or are you standing on the sideline hoping for an opportunity to “get involved”?

Why hope? Create that opportunity yourself! Do whatever you need to do, just take action and…

GET IN THE GAME! 

The only person responsible for you is you. Take control of your life. You might start by examining your “default settings” and perhaps, change a few. Heck, what can it hurt? You can always press the “reset to default” button, right?

A small change today can make a big difference tomorrow

Go ahead, try it yourself and see!

That pretty much sums up “Lackland”.

You know “Lackland” –

• the place where you never have enough of anything – especially time & money
• the place where it seems the harder you try, the further behind you get
• the place where not matter what you do, you always seem to come up “short”
• the place where you make decisions based on “being comfortable” instead of taking a chance
• the place where you grab the first solution although it may not be the best solution or even a solution at all
• the place where you are re-active instead of pro-active
• the place where you settle for “good” instead of going for “better”
• the place where you take the “easy way” instead of the more difficult way
• the place where “the grass is always greener on the other side”

Yeah, I am talking about THAT place…

The difficulty with escaping “Lackland” is that it’s a pretty comfortable place. You have most of what you need. You make excuses for not grabbing the “brass ring” – perhaps that new car or maybe a nicer house. You’re simply not willing to “give up to get”. You’re not willing or don’t want to “stretch” yourself. Life in “Lackland” is “easy”. And, it sure seems better than doing “whatever it takes” to purchase a one way ticket out.

But what if you want to move out of “Lackland” to “Abundance”? Where does that  journey begin? Better yet, how does that journey begin?

I believe Courtney C. Stevens said it best –

“If nothing changes, nothing changes.”

The first thing you have to do is change. Change something. Change anything. Just change! Okay, just to be clear, change for the sake of change isn’t your ticket out. Intentional change is a great way to start the drive out of “Lackland”.

You need to be consistent. You need to be the tortoise, not the hare. Change takes time and effort. Change does’t happen overnight. A slow and steady approach helps replace the “old” with the “new”.

Meet any challenges you encounter head on. You need to realize there are no easy answers or short-cuts. Simply put,  you’ll have to put in the time and make the effort each and every time you are faced with a challenge.

Personal growth. How many books have you read this past year? What activities have you participated in that expanded your knowledge? Heck, have you even learned “anything new” this year?

Be alert! The road you’re about to travel is full of potholes, confusing “off & on ramps” as well as detour signs designed to keep you from reaching “Abundance”.

As a wise man once told me, “The most difficult step to take is the first one.”

Go ahead. You can do it. Take that first step.

“Abundance” awaits.

Admittedly I am a day or two late getting this out, but the important thing is to continue sharing the progress I am making and to not focus on a specific timeline to get a post complete. Or, at least, that is how I see it…and since I am the one writing the book (and blog), well, then, that’s all that really matters.

I did get a little writing done. Nothing too exciting, just an idea that was bouncing around that I didn’t want to lose. This past week I did get to talk with another person writing a book however. She has 10 siblings, so each sibling is writing a chapter for the “family book”; which is similar to what I am doing, except I am doing most of the writing while receiving some input from my family.

Speaking of family input, I received another story from my older brother this week. It’s a story about an event we titled “The Triple Lindy”. Short version: One of our favorite holes at Springdale is a par 4 with an elevated tee. There are three water hazards “in play” off the tee…well, maybe not really…”in play”, but one round my older brother “Bizarro” managed to place a tee shot into each of the water hazards consecutively! Thus, the “Triple Lindy” was born. I’ll provide the story in full perhaps next week…

In the meantime, here’s the view from the “Triple Lindy” tee box looking towards the green straight ahead. You can see one water hazard – short and left. The other two “in play” water hazards are FAR LEFT, across the street which runs down the left side…Yes, a “Triple Lindy” is quite THE accomplishment!!  🙂

The “440 A” was the note Mrs. Bickford sounded prior to beginning orchestra practice. She would hold up and strike the “tone bar” signaling time to start. The screeches of violins, violas, cellos and basses were soon replacing the noise of our conversations. Tuning our instruments occurred in the same, consistent manner each time the orchestra gathered to practice or before we performed. Over the years it became a “comfortable ritual” we all came to love & respect. It was our sign to “stop what we were doing” and to “start doing something else”.

More importantly, though, how awful would the orchestra have sounded if we had not all tuned to the same note?

Time to think about your day. Do you have any morning rituals, routines, or habits that assist in starting your day off correctly and consistently? I know many people (me included) who like to wake up over a fresh cup of coffee. I’ve even gone as far as to tell my family & co-workers “don’t talk to me until I’ve had my coffee! GO AWAY!!”

But coffee only wakes me up. It doesn’t help get me get in a positive mood or “mindset”. It doesn’t assist with focusing on the “big picture”, planning my day or finding my purpose in life.

What does help with all that?

Morning devotions. Morning inspirational reading. Morning meditation. These energize my body and soul so that I can survive another day of trials and tribulations. It helps get my day started on the right note, facing the right direction.

What happens on days I skip my morning activities?

The entire day just seems kinda “off”, like something is missing, but I don’t know what…that is, until I take the time to stop and re-think my morning activities. It usually hits me over the head  like a ton of bricks, or maybe an anvil if you’re a Looney Toons fan. “Oh, you didn’t do your morning devotions, fool.”

Anyway, all I’m trying to say is:

• Discover what it takes for you to start your day on the right note
• Do whatever that is consistently
• Enjoy the beautiful things that grow from that activity

—

Addendum:

One additional activity I try to fit into my morning routine is dialing into Zurvita’s Wake-Up call. It’s offerings vary from inspirational to humorous to motivational and all points in between. The best part is you don’t have to be part of the company to listen! The call happens early – 6:15am PST, so usually I have my coffee during the call. Here’s the phone number and PIN if you want to listen in: (712) 432-7589   PIN: 46579.

Enjoy!   🙂

Sooooooo…I did manage to get the stories I have written, printed, but they are still stacked in a nice neat pile on my desk. However, I did manage to make progress in another area…

…the naming of the book! Ok, maybe not “the” name, but at least a “solid maybe”.

You see, I spent part of the weekend with my brother who was “on assignment” working in Seattle. I wanted to get him the hardcopies of the stories, but I left them on the printer. Not good.

Anyway, as we visited talk turned to the stories and we “re-lived” several of our favorite. Of course, each story was followed with “that’s going to be in the book, right?” I shared with him the “working title” and he frowned. No biggie, that’s why it’s “working title”.

The more we talked, the more it became apparent the book wasn’t just about the golf stories. So, we talked a little more and came to the conclusion that the stories originated from “guys talking golf & life” – lightbulb moment!

Thus, the “new” working title is now “Just Us Guys Talking – Stories of Golf & Life”. We’ll see if it sticks…

Thought I’d toss in one of my favorite pics from our golf outings in North Carolina. It’s from Springdale Golf Club – the 9th green & fairway from the deck of what was the Pro Shop, but is now the Snack Shack.

Not a good week for progress. Absolutely nothing happened. Well, I shouldn’t say nothing, “Life” happened. Oh well, there’s always next week, right? So,  THIS WEEK I’ll get the stories printed and in their initial order for the book.

In the meantime here’s another tidbit from the book…

I was 10 or 11 the first time I swang a golf club. I’m pretty sure it was one of my mom’s because her clubs were lighter and shorter than dad’s. I’m also fairly positive the first ball I ever swang at was a wiffle golfball in the backyard.

Fortunately, I didn’t stay in the backyard long. My dad “knew a guy” and was able to purchase a “family membership” to a golf club for $125. The guy also tossed in a beater bag and a bunch of mismatched clubs for my brothers and I. Thus, we were set to take the golfing world by storm!

I’ll never forget the advice dad gave us – “Don’t worry about what direction the ball goes or even how far it goes. What’s important is that you learn the rules and etiquette of the game and build a consistent swing. Once you have a consistent swing, the ball will go mostly the same direction and the same distance. That’s when we’ll start working on adding distance and improving the direction. You can’t fix anything until you’re doing it in a consistent manner.”

Wiser words have never been spoken. “ You can’t fix anything until you’re doing it consistently.” Dad’s golf message was also a life lesson. I just wasn’t aware of it back then

I am sharing this story because it contains a lesson we all need to learn. While the details are a bit fuzzy, the lesson delivered remains loud & clear. I can’t recall the first time I heard or maybe read it, but for “some reason” the story entered my head while baking at the abbey today. It is still in my head, so I thought I had better share it with you. Over the years I learned to never ask “why”, “where” or “how” these things arrive in my head, I just accept the “gift” and write…so, here goes…

One winter’s eve in northern Minnesota, a father and his two sons decided to go for a walk across a frozen lake. Their goal was to reach the lighthouse on the other side then return home. It was easy to see the lighthouse with its beacon shining brightly.  It had snowed earlier in the day, so the snow covering the lake had yet to be disturbed. Thus, there were no footprints or paths to follow.

Off the three went.

Dad was determined this walk wasn’t going to be like many of their other walks – the “I got there first  so I am the winner” type, so after they had walked a short distance he challenged the boys to a contest. This time was going to be different. He was going to use the walk to illustrate a lesson.

“Let’s see who can walk the straightest line to the lighthouse.”

Sometimes dad would be in the lead. Sometimes it was one of the boys. And sometimes they all walked together in a group, laughing & joking as they went.

Eventually, they all reached the lighthouse.

“Time to look back and see who walked the straightest,” said dad. “You do remember which path you made, right?”

Looking back across the lake they could see the three paths clearly. The path of each boy zigged and zagged all over; whereas dad’s was fairly straight, requiring little to no correction.

“How did you do that dad?” Asked one of the boys. “How come your path is pretty straight and ours look like snakes?”

“Well, ” said dad, “I was watching you boys as you walked and whenever you stopped, you  looked back to where you started and made corrections based on that. I did something different. I kept my focus on the lighthouse. I never looked back to where I had been. I only looked at where I was going.”

With that, the dad and his kids began the walk back home – dad hoping his kids got the message and the two boys walking towards the light of their home applying what they had just learned.

I get up most days before the others in my family. I use the quiet time to enjoy a cup of coffee, play on my phone, or sit outside looking at the trees. This morning after enjoying my coffee and playing, I felt inspired to take a walk.

I usually don’t put in my contacts until after I shower. I didn’t feel like wearing glasses either, so I went out into a rather blurry world. You see, without correction I am “legally blind” and can’t see anything clearly that isn’t about a foot in front of my face. Just ask Windy, she sees me each morning holding my phone barely inches from my eyes.

I grabbed my phone, a fresh cup of coffee, and off I went. Although I couldn’t see a thing, I heard the sounds of the “outdoors waking up”. It was peaceful and relaxing.

Then, I think, I figured out why…

I was focusing only on what was directly in front of me! I wasn’t being distracted by things in the distance or birds in the sky. I also wasn’t turning my head when I heard a sound because I wouldn’t be able to see what made the sound anyway, so why bother looking.

It was freeing. It was enlightening.

I kept on walking. And you know what? The stuff I couldn’t see from far away came more into focus the closer I came to it. Ok, it wasn’t super clear, but clear enough –  “oh, there’s a light post” or “hey, I can tell that’s a ‘For Sale’ sign by it’s colors”.

My walk had become a game – “what can I not see now that I’ll be able to see later?”

Yup, and that’s when “it” hit me upside the head…

“How much have I missed that was “right in front of me” because my focus was misplaced or misguided?”

Life comes at us quickly, too quickly sometimes. And in this digital age it’s easy to become even more distracted by our phones, tablets, or other external sources.

Yesterday is gone. We can’t change it. Let it go!

Tomorrow is not guaranteed. We can’t change what we don’t have.

All we have is today. That’s why it’s called “the present”..

Unwrap the “gift” of today. You’ll be amazed by what you’ll see.

So, I got a little writing done this week. Re-worked many “rough drafts” to make them more readable as well as breaking out stories within stories. While doing all of this, I thought it might be  good time to “inventory” the stories so I know “how many” and  “from who” I have. I then reviewed my outline to learn how well it meshed.

Here’s what I have so far…

“People” – 5 stories

“Dan” – 6 stories

“Moose” – 2 stories

“Book Layout” – 2 stories

“All Others” – 2 stories

Which totals 17 stories, so I still have a fair a writing head of me.

My goal for the next week is to print out what I have and to begin putting them in “book order”. This will allow me to “rough read through” and establish a “flow” for the book. I am hoping it will help define the type of stories I need to write.

In the meantime, here’s a little something to read – a story from my “People” file…

– Ken Henry – The Club Pro at Glen Flora Country Club

Ken was an Olympic speed skater. So good in fact he won a Gold Medal in the 500m at the 1952 Winter Olympics in Norway. He was also chosen to light the flame which opened the 1960 Olympics in Squaw Valley, California.  After a bit of research I learned Ken was the first American to win an Olympic Games and a World Championship in speed skating. He was inducted into the National Speedskating Hall of Fame in 1970. Ha, just discovered he and I have the same birthday – January 7. Wow….

Wish I had known all of that when I was just a kid…

Ken was the person who trained the caddies, ran the pro shop and basically oversaw the entire golf operation at Glen Flora. He was also the one who handed the golf cart keys to the “driving eligible” caddies so the carts could be brought to the pro shop from their storage location. Oh, what a feeling to be “allowed” to drive a cart up from the basement! Oh, Ken had a marvelous sense of humor, but the first time he tricked you, you wouldn’t think so. Ken knew the young kids always wanted to drive the carts, and I was one of them, so when he asked “hey kid, do you know how to drive?” I quickly answered “yes”. His response “here, drive this broom around and clean this place up.” How mean was that?  But the next time he asked, I still responded in the affirmative, and ya know what – I got to bring up a cart! Sweet!

Other than bringing up the carts, the caddies never really interacted with Mr Henry. If you wanted to interact with Ken, you needed to be either the caddy master or work in the bag room – the room where the members’ clubs were wiped down and stored after every round. Fortunately, I was given that opportunity a few years down the road.

The nice part about working in the bag room is that you could still caddy in the morning and report to work in the afternoon as that is when all the members were done golfing and their clubs were ready to clean. It was a great way to make more money without being out in the hot sun all day long. An added benefit were the tips I earned when members asked for their clubs to be taken to their car. It was generally $2-$3, which was a lot easier than carrying a bag for 18 holes! While I enjoyed the bag room, I much preferred being a caddy out on the course.