Dan’s View

You’ve heard it all before –

“Give until it hurts.”

“Ya gotta give 110%.”

“Give it all you got.”

“Give until you can give no more.”

“All you need to do is to try harder.”

But, how do you know when you’ve reached “that point”? You know, the point where you have given or tried “everything” imaginable under the sun and you’re still not quite “there”, where you want or need to be? You may feel that you’re even further from being “there” than when you began.

You start wondering and doubting if you’ll ever make it “there” or if all the effort has just been a big waste of time and resources. Heck, you may even begin to wonder why or maybe you have forgotten why you even wanted to get “there” in the first place.

Maybe what’s keeping you from getting “there” isn’t motivation or drive or desire. Maybe it’s a person, an attitude, or a lack of knowledge.

Yup, I think the answer to what’s keeping you from making it “there” can be found by looking in the mirror – it’s you!

“But how can that be?”, you may ask. I’ve tried literally everything I can think of and I’m still not “there”.

Have you ever stopped to think that maybe you’ve been working towards the wrong “there”?

Visualize a children’s dot-to-dot -> a plain old sheet of paper with numbered dots.

What happens if you hand the same page to two children – one that knows numbers and one that doesn’t?

Come on, we’ve all seen it. The child that knows numbers ends up with a picture of a tree or animal; whereas the other child simply connects the dots randomly and ends up with who knows what.

Where is your “life dot-to-dot” taking you? What type of picture are you hoping it makes? Is it “neat & orderly” or “messy & scattered” or a combination of both?

The important thing to remember is that it’s YOUR LIFE! You determine when and where to draw the next line. Whether the outcome is expected or a complete surprise, at some point you’ll get to where you want to be, “there”.

The “picture” you create will be even more beautiful than you can imagine.

So, you’ve got some work to do!

Go now! Take out your pen, pencil or crayon and discover your life’s “dot-to-dot”.

I caught myself doing it again today. I did it yesterday. And I think I even did it the day before. Now that I’ve stopped to think about it, there hasn’t been a day that I can’t remember not doing it. Heck, I think I’ve been doing it since I was 11.

You may be asking  what “it” is and I’ll tell ya…

If you’ve read my blogs, you know one of my first stories was about an accident I had when I was 11 which left me partially blind in my left eye. So here’s what I do EVERY DAY…

– I close my right eye and check to see if my vision has been restored in my left eye

Crazy?  Maybe. Maybe not.

It’s become such a habit that I don’t realize I am even doing it. I can’t pinpoint the exact date or reason I began doing this. I’m not even sure that’s even important to know. 

What’s important to know is the “why”. And it’s fairly simple – 

because I have hope that it will happen.

I have hope.

Where would we be without hope? What hopes do you have? Have you shared them with anyone? What actions have you taken to make your hope a reality? 

In my case I make regular visits to the eye doctor; which are always “fun” as most eye docs have never seen an eye with damage like mine. My last visit went differently though. My doctor ran some tests and suggested “some and maybe all” of my sight might be restored if I had cataract surgery. I guess I have a “ripe cataract” according to him. 

Oh, the tests were pretty cool, science fiction-like stuff. They shot a laser into my eye from various angles and asked “do you see anything, tell us what you see”. Strange how I could “see” a capital “E” from some, but not all angles, simply from this laser they aimed at my eye. Cool!

(Now to overcome the fear that is holding me back from the surgery, but I’ll save that for another blog entry.)

Hope. 

In Psalm 71:14 it says:

“As for me, I will always have hope; I will praise you more and more.”

Maybe that’s the first and best place for me to start, put my hope in Him. He already knows my deepest wants and desires – maybe that’s why I do the “eye check” every day – it’s my biggest hope! And simply knowing He knows I have the hope that my vision will be restored is enough to “keep me believing”.

Ha, just made myself think of the song “Don’t Stop Believin'” by Journey. 

So, let’s end it there…

“Don’t stop believing. Hold on to that feeling…”

Have you ever watched, and I mean, really watched, a campfire burn?

I had the opportunity recently to do just that. It was during a family vacation at the coast a few weeks ago. We had completed clearing and cleaning up after dinner so it was time to make everyone’s favorite dessert – s’mores.

Out I tromped with the marshmallow forks, marshmallows, graham crackers, and chocolate bars in hand. Grabbed a few pieces of firewood, some paper and matches and built me a campfire.

Then it was time to toast the marshmallows. And toast them we did!

But, this isn’t about s’mores. Sorry.

It’s about me sitting alone watching the fire burn. Or I should say, me tending the fire to ensure the logs burned to their fullest.

If you know me…sitting there alone…well, it got me thinking…of course it did…you know me…so…I thought…

“What would happen to the fire (logs) if I wasn’t there to poke them which kept the fire going? Would it just go out and leave some of the logs partially burned  or would all the logs burn completely?”

After poking the fire many, many more times I was finally able to determine what I was really pondering – “What is it in life that really excites me and what was I doing to keep that fire burning?”

After all, it is a fairly simple to be initially excited and motivated, but what and how does one keep “the fire burning” and not “flame out”?

So, I continued to just sit there and poke the fire.

Then it hit me. It’s kinda like a rocket launch. Many actions have to occur at just the right time and place to make it happen. The fuel and oxygen must mix at just the right ratios to create the pounds and pounds of thrust to boost the rocket towards space. As a matter of fact, most of the fuel is burned to simply get the rocket off the ground. Once the rocket is free from the atmosphere and pull of earth’s gravity it takes little fuel to keep it going.

Yup, the heavy lifting occurs early in the process. It’s the first thing that needs to be overcome before moving to the next step.

“How much effort was I putting into the “first thing” of anything I ever attempted?”

“How many times have I simply quit without giving maximum effort?”

“How many times have I failed because I was simply “too proud” to ask for help or admit I didn’t know the answer?”

You could say it was kind of an “a-ha” moment.

So, obviously, it got me thinking even more profoundly. This is one of the “joys” of being me – thinking and then thinking even more.

I discovered the answer. It’s a fairly simply and obvious one. Heck, I think a clothing company uses as their “tag line”: “Do what you love. Love what you do.”

Seems simple, right? Find something, anything that ignites that fire inside you and continue to nurture it. Feed it. Water it. Poke it. Watch it grow. And you know what? As it grows, you grow right along with it. Then it grows so freakin’ big you can’t contain it, so you start to share it with others. Heck, maybe you even ignite others along the way.  What a wonderful process!

What if this process is never-ending?  What if that is our purpose in life – to get ignited and burn (learn, grow, share) our “one thing” thus igniting others?

Let me challenge you.

Go, find your “one thing”. Do, and I mean DO the heavy lifting of the first stage. When you think you’ve done the heavy lifting – LIFT MORE! Don’t quit. Don’t give up. Ever. KEEP WORKING! Accept you don’t know all the answers. Accept you will NEVER know all the answers. Ever. Ask for help. Asking is not a weakness, but a sign of strength. YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOU THINK YOU ARE! 

Whatever you do, do this, poke your fire! Poke! POKE! POKE! 

Transition.

It has been part of your life for longer than you can remember. It will remain part of your life until you die. And who knows, it may even continue after that.

Transition is how you get from one place to another – physically, mentally and emotionally. And yes, transition has a price.

Sometimes you’ll know when you’re “in transition” and others you won’t. It’ll just sneak up on you and “wham” it’s done.

People talk about “transition at the top”; usually relating it to their experiences on the job and how changes in upper management affect their position.

This won’t be about that particular type of transition.

I want to talk about “passing the torch” from one family generation to another. Mainly, when or how do we as “children” become the leaders of our families as our parents age? Is it something that occurs over time or is it something our parents “allow” to occur? Then of course, when will WE be transitioned out by our children?

Sometimes this particular transition is brought on by health related issues or when our parents can no longer take care of themselves and/or their home.  Many times this leads to moving our parents into our homes – a role reversal of sorts.

I guess I ponder this because of my parents and my relationship with them. It seems so simple now. As a child, our parents are there to teach and guide us through life by sharing their experiences – both good & bad – so that we may avoid some of the same pitfalls they endured. But we don’t listen to them, do we? We go right out and make the same mistakes. Over and over again. Why?

It’s how we learn. Some things in life we must learn on our own. We have to feel the pain of defeat or the joy of victory for ourselves.  We have to go through the heartache of the “first love” to know what “love is” and how loving another changes us.

We have to learn to lead.

It’s not so much “how” we learn, but “what” we learn and “who” we learn it from. Funny thing, though, is that as we transition through life’s stages there is always someone “there” to teach us.  We may not realize it until we’ve moved on, but the people we meet along life’s journey, we meet for a reason. People may come and go, but their influence stays with us forever.

In brief, everyone matters.

You matter.

A point to ponder as you journey from here to there.

 

 

What types of images come to mind when you think of “home”?   Why do you think that is?

A few weeks ago I had the privilege of traveling to North Carolina to golf with my parents and younger brother. We’re a competitive bunch so, naturally, there were some good times and some bad times.

I’m  not going to dwell on those times. However, I wanted to share with you a brief discussion I had   with mom that made me stop and think about what “home” is all about.

A little background is needed…

For their 25th wedding anniversary mom and dad wanted to go somewhere special. After some research they located a place called Maggie Valley in North Carolina. They rented a cabin in a “village” and had a rather enjoyable time.

So enjoyable, they continued going back year after year. Heck, one year they even took my younger brother and I. Oh man, that trip is worth an entire blog entry on it’s own – go cart racing & Miss Bunny’s Ice Cream Shop to mention a few things of interest…

Anyway, on that trip with us kids, we discovered “Springdale Country Club”. Since we had packed the clubs, we just had to go play some mountain golf.

At first the club wasn’t going to let my younger brother play – the course was too long and hard they said. But, dad convinced them he’d be fine and not slow up play.

It was awesome!

After completing our round, we learned it was “resort-like”; they offered housing as well as breakfast and dinner. The best part – if you signed up for a package deal, you had unlimited golf!

Where do we sign?!?!

Mom and dad began going there for every anniversary.

Life happened. All us kids grew up and went our separate ways. I moved to Michigan, then Oregon. My two brothers stayed in Illinois  , but in different towns than my folks.

Then someone hatched the idea. Why not have the 4 guys fly to NC and stay at Springdale every year?

So, we’ve been doing  just that for the past 30 years or so…

Which brings us to this year…

It was my turn to ride with mom, which is always an interesting time, but we’ll save that for another blog entry too…

We got to the 13th hole – we call it “The Retro Hole” because, well, the tee box is up one side of a valley and the green is at the bottom with a lovely pond in front of the tee, another pond guarding the left side of the green and a sand trap guarding the right. You launch (not drive) your ball into the air and all you see us a white orb hurtling through the air against a forrest covered mountain backdrop. It’s just beautiful. Oh, and there’s no using the “new technology” of “metal woods” – we drag out and dust off our old persimmon headed drivers from from the “golden age” of golf – thus the “retro” part.

Now where was I?

We all completed teeing off and had arrived at our balls when I asked mom “what is it about this place that makes me feel like i’m young again?”

Her response “because it’s home”.

i asked what she meant, but she couldn’t really describe what she meant. The strange thing, though, was that I knew exactly what she meant. And I’m sure my dad and brother knew it too!

My brother and I talk about these trips often. We’ve realized these trips can’t go on forever. Dad turns 80 this November. Mom turns 77 in September. All us boys are over 50. But until “that time” arrives these trips “home” are happening. The “Retro Hole” will be played.

Why?

Because it is “home”.

The view looking over the 18th green from the patio at Springdale Country Club

How many friends do you have? I mean really good friends. Friends that you can call any time day or night for any reason. Friends that you don’t see very often, but when you do, it seems like you’ve never been apart? The type of friend that’s just as crazy or maybe even slightly crazier than you? The friend who simply accepts you for who who are, with all your little quirks and idiosycracies?

You do have a friend or two like that, right?

What is it that draws us to some people but not others?

I think humans are “pack animals”.  We weren’t meant to be alone. Heck, look back to the beginning –  God created the heavens, earth, animals, plants and gave Adam dominion over all of it. But you know what, Adam wasn’t happy until God created Eve.

I need you. You need me.  We need each other. It’s just that simple.

Friends are there to pick you up when you’re down. Friends are there to celebrate the good, the great, and the fantastic. Friends are there when times are tough – like when you can’t see the light at the end of the tunnel and you simply want to quit.

Friends are amazing. They do all of that for us and ask for nothing in return…except maybe that you do the same for them; which of course you’d do without thinking. Why? Because that’s what friends do!

There’s no class for learning how to be a friend. You don’t have to be “certified”. Friendship seems to be an organic “thing” that “just happens” and changes over time as our lives change, as we learn, grow and mature.

That’s why it’s possible to “outgrow a friendship”.  We’ve all been there at some point. We start wondering why we’re still friends with so-and-so because “we’re just so different now”.

That’s ok. Friends will come in and out of your life as needed, for  undetermined lengths of time, because “at that moment” they had something that you needed or vice versa.  It all seems totally crazy, but it’s true!

That’s what friends do.

Period.

Gotta love that!

Friends. Who needs ’em?

Every single one of us, that’s who.

 

Which of the following is better?

A. Aiming for the stars and hitting the moon

Or

B. Aiming for the moon and hitting the stars

I’d guess it’s probably difficult for you to answer without additional information like knowing what the expectations were, right?

How many of you are leading your life in that same manner? That is, have you set expectations for your life? If so, what’s your success rate? Are you over or under achieving?

Think back to when you were a kid. What was it you wanted out of life? What were your biggest dreams and desires?

For many of us it’s pretty simple – a loving spouse, a happy family, a nice house in a nice neighborhood and a nice job so we could “have it all”.

How’d THAT work out for you?

Did you make it to the stars? How about the moon? How about someplace totally different than you ever imagined?

So,what are you going to do about it? Are you going to complain that all life ever gives you is lemons? Are you going to pull yourself back up by the proverbial “bootstraps”?  Are you going to change anything to improve your condition or just continue down the same path?

What you get out of life is up to you! Set some goals. Take action and make changes to your life. Shake it up a bit. Take some chances. Try something new.

Live life!

Don’t delay!

Start Today!

The Past.

The Present.

The Future.

“Where are you stuck?”

“The Past”?

How much baggage are you carrying from your past? Why? What good has come from dragging it along, day after day after day?  How can you ever live in “The Present” with a foot still stuck in “The Past”?

You can’t!

“The Future”?

Seems to me it’s kinda difficult to live in a space that doesn’t exist – enough said. More importantly, we’re not guaranteed a “tomorrow”, we are given just “today” – and even THAT is only if we wake up! (Literally and figuratively)

So, that leaves us with…

“The Present”

I’m talking about “right now, this very moment”. That’s all we get. “The Now”.

If you’re not living in “The Present”, what’s holding you back?

For many it’s the fear that by letting go you’ll lose part of yourself. But isn’t THAT the point of letting go – to get rid of it? To cleanse yourself of unwanted baggage so you can continue moving forward and become a better version of “You”?

If it helps, think of your life as a book. Each experience – good, bad or otherwise – is a chapter in YOUR book of life. Generally, characters and storylines develop as each chapter unfolds, just as your life develops and grows as each day passes.

It’s not about FORGETTING what happened, but ACKNOWLEDGING that events of YOUR past have shaped and molded you into who you are AT THIS MOMENT IN TIME.

Remove even a single experience (chapter) from your book and “BAM”, your life would be different.Vastly different.

Maybe you’ve heard this before and maybe you haven’t – but it’s worth repeating – “Today” is called “The Present” because every day you’re on earth is a gift from God.

It’s the greatest gift imaginable.

God has a plan for yor life. There may be days you question His plan or wonder if there really is a plan. On those days, Trust Him. He’ll never do you any harm. He loves you. He’ll protect you from evil. Always. Forever.

Start today. Not tomorrow.

Start “Now”

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Recognition.

We all want it. We can never receive enough of it. We love the way we feel when we get it.

Then WHY don’t we give more of it?

I’m not talking about big fancy trophies or gaudy plaques to hang on the wall. And, yes, I know those are nice to get too; but I’m talking about the simple, everyday type of recognition you can give without even trying – like saying “good morning” or sharing a smile.

Let someone know you “see” them and you’re glad they are there too. How hard is that?

I mean, you know how it makes you feel when it happens to you. What not spread it around?

Corporations engage employees using “Employee of the Month” awards based on comment cards or receipt surveys filled out by both satisfied and unsatisfied customers. It’s amazing to see the reactions to these comments. Employees who receive a comment feel they’re important and matter; and perhaps make a difference.

Does recognition work differently in the home?  Should it?

Most families have a list of chores which are divided among the family members. These chores are often a source of frustration – like when the garbage overflows or the dishwasher is not emptied. Isn’t it funny how when the chore gets done it never seems to get noticed, but when it goes undone it’s as clear as the nose on your face?

Really now, honestly, how often have you thanked the person for taking out the trash or emptying the dishwasher? Don’t you think a little “hey, thanks for doing that” would be nice to hear and just maybe help the person to see the value in performing the chore? It has to better than arguing about it, right?

As a child I used to be the only one of the kids to go grocery shopping with my mom. Not sure why, but I did. We would make a game of it – we’d have a contest to see who could estimate the final bill the closest. It started off friendly – rounding to the nearest dollar etc. As the trips passed, the “nearest dollar” no longer “won”, so it became “nearest quarter”, then “nearest dime”…and so on until it became “who could do the tax percentage correctly in their head”.

Anyway, these trips always ended with me getting to choose a piece of candy. Heck, I thought it was neat that I got candy and my brothers didn’t. It made me feel “special”.

Only later in life did I realize that candy was my mom’s way of recognizing that I gave up playing with friends or watching television to help her at the store. And, to this day, whenever I go to the store with her I still get that candy.

That candy (recognition) meant/means the world to me. Why wouldn’t I want to make others feel the same?

All I’m saying is this…

Be present and live in the moment. Recognize the people with whom you have contact for your contact may be their only opportunity for contact with another person. Most of all – smile.

Smile – All the time. For no good reason.

Just smile    : )

 

 

Company Loyalty.

Faster. Better. Cheaper.

Can these things co-exist?

Or

Are they mutually exclusive?

When I was a kid I would do odd jobs to earn the money to purchase whatever it was I wanted at that moment. I knew what I was willing to “give” to “get”. Back then it was simple – I’d give up some of my “time” to get the “money”.  I “valued” the product more or equal to my time.

Is  that paradigm broken? If so, what can be done to fix it? Better yet, can it be fixed?

Does devaluing the product mean you don’t value the efforts of the person behind the product at the same level or in the same way as the company which employs them?

How often  have you taken time to think about that?

What exactly is a “livable income”?  Who defines that – employers, government or the workers? Oh, and is it a truly “livable” income?

Does government help or hinder the free exchange of thoughts and ideas which lead to innovation?

I know. I know…Many questions and very few answers.

I know this – Many times it’s employees who get the short end of the stick when a company isn’t as profitable as the investors and bean counters think it should be. Their hours get cut or maybe their benefits are reduced. However, there is still the same amount of work to be done by fewer people in less time.  Fair or not, that seems to be the “norm” for business nowadays.

I don’t know what the answer is. I just needed to get this out of my head and into the ether. Maybe these thoughts land on a more fertile mind and get solved. Then again maybe not, but at least they’re out there. Out there to be resolved.

Somehow and Someday by Someone.

Maybe even you…