“Defining Moments”

Life is full of them.  Sometimes it’s easy to tell when you’re “in the moment”. Sometimes you’re not aware how defining the moment is until it’s long gone and you’ve had time to look back and process that specific time in your life. Some “moments” you may never know.

I’ve previously written about a defining moment in my life – being struck by a golfball which caused a partial loss of vision in my left eye – and how that accident helped shape me into the person I am today.

But today I’m going to share a different “defining moment” in my life.  This “moment” occurred about three years ago.

Over the past 3 years I have told my employees that my honeymoon trip to Maui, Hawaii with Windy “broke me for life”. By that I don’t mean financially, but that the trip “broke” what I thought I knew about life, work and family. Okay, maybe it’s not quite correct to pinpoint the honeymoon, maybe it should include the entire “package of moments” which lead up to the trip…but does it matter? I think not.

Fundamentally,  I feel like what I thought I knew about those three things no longer “fit” or “made sense”.  How can that be?

I think one single word can explain it – priority.

A wise lady once said, “When all is said and done and you’re lying there in your casket; your car, house and fancy belongings you just had to have and worked so hard for won’t be there. What will be there are the people and relationships that you have made. What are you doing in your life to ensure you’re not lying there all alone?”

Whoa!!

Okay, if you haven’t figured it out, the wise lady is my wife Windy. And she made quite the point! In her own unique way she made me question my priorities.

I think up to that time I was “busy” chasing “things and stuff”. I worked hard so I could afford the creature comforts and to heck with friends and family. Something had to “give” so I can get what I want, right?

Wrong. Wrong. Wrong. Wrong, in so many ways. Again. WRONG!

Yes, work is important. It provides for the necessities in life – food, clothing, shelter etc. BUT, it shouldn’t be or become your “everything”.

Time away from work (I believe it’s called ‘vacation’), is required too! Time to decompress from the stresses and strains associated with work is also good for the body.’Vacation’ is generally a time for rest, a time to catch up with friends and family, a time to travel and make memories that will last a lifetime and more.  Oh, but most importantly it’s the chance to cross a few items off your “honey do” list! (Right fellas?)

Nowadays, I think the fancy term for all of this is  “work/life balance”.

And THAT, my friends, is what I began to struggle with after returning from Maui.

Work had always been #1. Examples –

What? Someone called in? Sure. I can cover the shift. I don’t need to be at the birthday party.

You need someone to work the holiday? Okay, sure. It’s double time, right?  They’ll save me a plate of food.

That was me, before.

Afterwards, I kinda learned the word “No”. I started looking out for myself and the family. In other words, I made them a priority. Okay, not “a priority” but “THE priority” in my life.

It wasn’t easy. It meant being a little less generous and kind when a co-worker asked to swap shifts or was a planning a vacation that overlapped with mine and wanted met to cut mine short. It meant standing up for myself when holiday schedules were being made.

And it was worth it.

Worth my coworkers not speaking to me.

Worth all the memories created when playing games with my kids and grandkids; whether it be a sleep-over, the  holidays or on an entire family (kids, grandkids, grandma & grandpa Windy & I) vacation.

Worth building relationships that will carry me through the difficult times in life.

So, all of this brought to mind a book (and movie) titled “Brian’s Song”.  In it,the  great Chicago Bears running back and member of the Football Hall of Fame, Gale Sayers, declares,  “I am third. God is first, others are second, and I am third.”

Hmm…What about work? Where’s work?

It’s not there! It’s not a “top 3” priority, nor should it be.

Yup, guess you could call that realization a “defining moment”.