“Permission to Fail”

The most difficult thing to do in life is to accept failure; which is funny, because we fail at life every day. Why is it that we take such a negative view of failure?

About six weeks ago I was fired from my job. Apparently, I had failed to live up to the company’s “performance metrics” for my position. Now mind you, it wasn’t because I couldn’t perform the duties of my job, I just didn’t perform them to the standards the company established.

Honestly, being fired was a relief. A HUGE relief. I had been unhappy for quite some time, but chose to continue the daily battle because the job was close to home and the money good – both “good” reasons – but not the “best” reasons to stay. After 14 years, I had lost my “best reason”.

Being fired provided the “kick in the butt” I obviously required to make the change I so desperately needed. Thank goodness God has a long leg & a big foot!

Currently I am employed as a “temp to hire” at an abbey. Yes, an abbey! I work for and with monks, primarily filling and shipping their internet fruitcake orders. Now that the holidays are passed, I’ll be assisting in the bakery with the actual baking of the fruitcakes. On the days we’re not baking I’ll be assisting in the labeling department – removing labels from wine bottles or waxing the corks in the bottles.

I waxed corks for the first time the day after Christmas. The actual process is simple – fill this funnel-like doohickey with melted wax, hold doohickey over the top of the corked wine bottle, pull trigger on doohickey which starts wax flowing, release trigger when cork covered, repeat several hundred times.

Easy, right? A trained monkey (no pun intended) could do it…right?

Wrong! Dead wrong!

Now maybe, just maybe, I had some difficulty getting this task “figured out” because I have no depth perception – I kept missing the top of the bottle! I was holding the doohickey either too far past or not near enough the top of the bottle. I was failing. And failing often at a simple task. And I was frustrated, very frustrated.

Then encouragement arrived from my co-worker Pedro. He simply said “Don’t worry about it. It’s wax. When it cools down you can peel it off the bottles and try again. No worries. We have lots of wax.”

So, I went back to waxing bottles. And I continued to struggle. I continued to get upset when I missed the mark. Then I realized something – while Pedro had given me permission to fail, I had not given MYSELF the same permission.

Giving yourself permission to fail is freeing. It meant I didn’t have to be PERFECT. It means YOU don’t have to be perfect. Humans are not perfect beings. Really, we’re not.

Giving yourself permission to fail allows you the opportunity to make & correct your mistakes. You just have to take the actions required to repair the damage. Sure, in this instance, pulling the wax off the bottles is easy, but the “fix” won’t always be quite that simple.

For example, repairing broken relationships takes time and effort. It may require getting out of your comfort zone and into theirs. It may require patience and understanding.

But you know what? You can do it. You CAN fix it. Why? Because you’re not perfect and neither are they. Because you’ve given yourself permission to fail and thus the opportunity to recover.

So, as you look back at the year that has passed and forward to the new year that is ahead ask yourself:

“Have I given myself permission to fail?”

“What do I want to accomplish with this permission?”

Then, go and do just that.

You have permission.